Best and Worst Super Bowl Commercials 2013

After a hard fought, technically unsound football game yesterday night in New Orleans, the Baltimore Ravens emerged victorious over the San Francisco 49ers by a score of 34 – 31. The storm has settled, the dust has cleared, and now it’s time to look back on what really mattered most this past Super Bowl Sunday: The Commercials. Here are the five best, and five worst commercials from this year’s Super Bowl Sunday.


5. Taco Bell: Viva Young

With its catchy combination of a Spanish rendition of Fun’s “We Are Young” and partying elderly folk, Taco Bell’s Viva Young commercial is a hilarious shout-out to the wild side hidden within every Retirement Community.

4. Tide: Miracle Stain

In the only football related advertisement on this list, Tide’s Miracle Stain commercial is fantastic based solely on the background vocalists tremendous job serenading the name: Joe Montana at the beginning of the commercial. From there, the antics are amped up, and the commercial gets even funnier.

3. Oreo: Whisper Fight

For anyone who has ever gotten into an argument at the library, this should hit hilariously home. The two cops that whisper over the microphone is by far the most outrageously funny touch.

2. Coca-Cola: Security Camera

Coca-Cola shows off its soft side in this very cute advertisement proving that not everything caught on CCTV security cameras is necessarily bad or illegal. Sometimes they catch the good side of human nature. 

1. Hyundai Santa Fe: Team Pick

Hyundai’s newest Santa Fe commercial gives hope to that once hopeless group of people who were always picked last during recess. Rounding up the most athletic group of youngsters ever before amassed in a single unit, a gym class reject looks to get his revenge on the bully that wouldn’t let him play on the playground.


5. Subway: Peeps

Three words: no more Jared. Subway’s newest commercial literally shoves the fact that we have been consuming Jared related commercials for the past 15 years down our throats, and let me tell you, it does not taste nearly as delicious as a $5 cold cut combo.

4. Perfect Match

Go Daddy commercials are notoriously rough around the edges, but their newest advertisement is by far their most lewd. Bar Refaeli, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, spends the entire 30-second spot making out with some goofy looking Jonah Hill look-a-like. No one wants to see a beautiful swimsuit model debase herself like that. Nobody. 

3. Calvin Klein: Concept

Going on with the theme of things men never want to see during Super Bowl commercials, Calvin Klein clearly didn’t get the memo that no self respecting male wants to watch better looking men prance around in their underwear. Calvin Klein’s newest underwear line, Concept, might be more comfortable than Turkish silk, but that still doesn’t make it acceptable Super Bowl advertisement material. It’s hard enough watching better athletes grace the screen for four hours. Throwing better looking men on the screen during commercial breaks just adds insult to injury.

2. Audi: Prom

Audi’s newest advertisement made the list of worst Super Bowl commercials simply because of its subliminal message. Just because your dad lets you borrow his A4 for the night doesn’t give you the right to kiss the Prom Queen. If I were the roided up jock, I would’ve punched that all wheel drive wielding punk in the face too.

1. Doritos: Fashionista Daddy

Doritos commercials are so strange, they border on creepy. With it’s techno-synth dub step soundtrack, over exposed cinematography and goofy looking cornucopia of tortilla chip eating losers, this commercial just makes me feel bad for the poor little girl that has to bribe her dad with artificially flavored snack food in order to get him to play with her.

By: David Morris

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