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Golden Globes 2013: A Laughing Good Time

Image Courtesy Paul Drinkwater/AP

So many award shows turn into a long-winded three to four hours of boredom. The jokes tend to be bland and everyone is glancing back and forth between the TV and their watch. That was not the case with the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards. SNL favorites and hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler pulled it off. The night was filled with highly entertaining celebrity slams and zingers (none too offensive, but offensive enough to be clever and funny), goofy disguises and some off-key singing. Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig proved to be the most hilarious presenters of the evening after their improvised rant introducing the nominees for Best Lead Actress in a Comedy or Musical. As Tina Fey promised, they’d try to “wrap it up by eleven dark thirty at the latest.” Hopefully the comedic duo will be invited back to host next year.

Highlighted jokes from the evening:

“Meryl Streep couldn’t be here tonight. She has the flu. I hear she’s AMAZING in it.”

Tina Fey to Anne Hathaway: “I have not seen someone so alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.”

To Kathryn Bigelow on ZERO DARK THIRTY: “When it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron.”

“Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares”

At the end of the evening: “We’re both going home with Jodi Foster tonight.”

While Tina and Amy were winners tonight. The REAL Golden Globe winners were:

Best Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: “Argo”
“Django Unchained”
“Life of Pi”
“Lincoln”
“Zero Dark Thirty”

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: “Les Miserables”
“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”
Moonrise Kingdom”
“Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”
“Silver Linings Playbook”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: Daniel Day-Lewis – “Lincoln”
Richard Gere – “Arbitrage”
John Hawkes – “The Sessions”
Joaquin Phoenix – “The Master”
Denzel Washington – “Flight”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama
WINNER: Jessica Chastain – “Zero Dark Thirty”
Marion Cotillard – “Rust and Bone”
Helen Mirren – “Hitchcock”
Naomi Watts – “The Impossible”
Rachel Weisz – “The Deep Blue Sea”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Hugh Jackman – “Les Miserables”
Jack Black – “Bernie”
Bradley Cooper – “Silver Linings Playbook”
Ewan McGregor – “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”
Bill Murray – “Hyde Park on Hudson”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Jennifer Lawrence – “Silver Linings Playbook”
Maggie Smith – “Quarter”
 Emily Blunt – “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”
Judi Dench – “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”
Meryl Streep – “Hope Springs”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
WINNER: Christoph Waltz – “Django Unchained”
Alan Arkin – “Argo”
Leonardo DiCaprio – “Django Unchained”
Philip Seymour Hoffman – “The Master”
Tommy Lee Jones – “Lincoln”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
WINNER: Anne Hathaway – “Les Miserables”
Amy Adams – “The Master”
Sally Field – “Lincoln”
Helen Hunt – “The Sessions”
Nicole Kidman – “The Paperboy”

Best Director – Motion Picture
WINNER: Ben Affleck – “Argo”
Kathryn Bigelow – “Zero Dark Thirty”
Ang Lee – “Life of Pi”
Steven Spielberg – “Lincoln”
Quentin Tarantino – “Django Unchained”

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
WINNER: Quentin Tarantino – “Django Unchained”
Mark Boal – “Zero Dark Thirty”
Tony Kushner – “Lincoln”
David O. Russell – “Silver Linings Playbook”
Chris Terrio – “Argo”

Best Original Song – Motion Picture
WINNER: “Skyfall” – “Skyfall”
“For You” – “Act of Valor”
“Not Running Anymore” – “Stand Up Guys”
“Safe and Sound” – “The Hunger Games”
“Suddenly” – “Les Miserables”

Best Original Score – Motion Picture
WINNER: “Life of Pi”
“Argo”
“Anna Karenina”
“Cloud Atlas”
“Lincoln”

Best Animated Film
WINNER: “Brave”
“Frankenweenie”
“Hotel Transylvania”
“Rise of Guardians”
 “Wreck-It Ralph”

Best Foreign Language Film
WINNER: “Amour”
“A Royal Affair”
“The Intouchables”
“Kon-Tiki”
“Rust and Bone”

Best Television Series – Drama
WINNER: “Homeland”
“Breaking Bad”
“Boardwalk Empire”
“Downton Abbey”
“The Newsroom”

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: “Girls”
“Big Bang Theory”
“Episodes”
“Modern Family”
“Smash”

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: “Game Change”
“The Girl”
“Hatfields & McCoys
“The Hour”
“Political Animals”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama
WINNER: Damien Lewis – “Homeland”
Steve Buscemi – “Boardwalk Empire”
Brian Cranston – “Breaking Bad”
Jeff Daniels – “The Newsroom”
Jon Hamm – “Mad Men”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama
WINNER: Claire Danes – “Homeland”
Connie Britton – “Nashville”
Glenn Close – “Damages”
Michelle Dockery – “Downton Abbey”
Julianna Margulies – “The Good Wife”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Don Cheadle – “House of Lies”
Alec Baldwin – “30 Rock”
Matt LeBlanc – “Episodes”
Louie C.K. – “Louie”
Jim Parsons – “Big Bang Theory”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Lena Dunham – “Girls”
Zooey Deschanel – “The New Girl”
Julia Louis-Dreyfu – “Veep”
Tina Fey – “30 Rock”
Amy Poehler – “Parks and Recreation”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Kevin Costner – “Hatfields & McCoys”
Benedict Cumberbatch – “Sherlock”
Woody Harrelson – “Game Change”
Toby Jones – “The Girl”
Clive Owen – “Hemingway & Gellhorn”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Julianne Moore – “Game Change”
Nicole Kidman – “Hemingway & Gellhorn”
Jessica Lange – “American Horror Story”
Sienna Miller – “The Girl”
Sigourney Weaver – “Political Animals”

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Ed Harris – “Game Change”
Max Greenfield – “New Girl”
Danny Huston – “Magic City”
Mandy Patinkin – “Homeland”
Eric Stonestreet – “Modern Family”

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Maggie Smith – “Downton Abbey”
Hayden Panettiere – “Nashville”
Archie Panjabi – “The Good Wife”
Sofia Vergara – “Modern Family”

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